Managing through all the tough stuff

Manage through the tough stuff

Almost two weeks ago my father passed away (August 20th) and as I write this blog I’m back home in Chicago for a few days to regroup before going back to Michigan to help my family. I had envisioned my days home as a renewal and recovery time.

But to say the least, now that I’m home, I’ve been in a funk. You know—the blues, doldrums, a place of inactivity within activity—aka not myself

I know that this is part of my healing from heartache. As a matter of fact, today I cried for the first time in pubic when my car dealership Maintenance Rep asked how I was doing. Surprisingly, he handled it like a rock star and shared some traditions he and his wife have to honor the loss of their parents. (I’m learning there isn’t much coordinating or control when it comes to the tears that roll down our cheeks).

Perhaps you are familiar with feeling the blues, doldrums or even the emotions of heartache?

When you feel this way, what do you do? (I’m voting against over-indulging or other non self-care actions!).

Allow me to share how I am managing through this season of my life:

Mindfulness trumps neglect.

When it comes down to it, we can either learn (through practice) to be more aware of how we are behaving or feeling as individuals, or we can consciously remove ourselves from reality and not work through our present moment. (Click here for a guest post I wrote on the importance of living in our now).

I choose to be mindful and work through my present moment.

Mindfulness is management.

I am taking my circumstances into consideration while continuing to be the authority of my life.

I use the word authority, because from past experience I realize the importance of not allowing my circumstance to become the authority over my life. Indifference or carelessness can quickly lead to neglect and before long our actions and reactions relating to our situation, can point our life in directions that could have been avoided.

You and I still have command over our lives no matter what difficulty we are enduring.

However, we have to take ownership over how we perceive our circumstance, how we choose to manage our feelings (with love and care or?) and what we allow to influence us, etc.

Maintaining direction.

In Episode 28 of The Practice of Living as we Intend podcast, I talk about controlling the controllables within our lives vs. trying to control the uncontrollables. Perhaps you can relate?

There are specific, yet uniquely different routines that both you and I have established within our lives, that keep us leaning forward in the right direction. A few of mine include journaling, working out, specific nutrition, giving back to others, open to learning from others and time with the handful of people I surround myself by. These daily routines I share, are tools that I have set in place over time as I have gotten to know what it is that fuels me. These patterns of mine have become daily steps that propel me in the unique direction I intentionally desire to go.

Routines are the foundation to maintaining direction.

Human nature is to stop maintaining our routines when we are enduring difficulty—yet these established patterns are what we need to control. They are the controllables that will help navigate us through.

Be moldable.

Being moldable takes risk, yet it is the single most rewarding experience I have had in my lifetime—and it’s because of the outcome. When I envision this process, I see a potter with a big ‘ol lump of clay that eventually becomes something grand. (Note I used the word process). I am an enthusiast for life, because I love learning from the process of life. And then I love the joy I receive from sharing what I have learned.

When I feel uncomfortable, I am reminded that I am approaching a season of change. And within that season, there is always a window of time to allow ourselves to be moldable.

When we are moldable, we are transformable.

When we’re moldable we can move, inspire, we can overcome and influence. We’re not stuck or static—instead, we are open to change, growth and newness!

Whether you are navigating through something hard or weathering a previous storm in your life, are you willing to establish some intentions for yourself in order to help you navigate through whatever you may be enduring? Perhaps taking on board a few of the resources I’ve shared above will allow you to continue to process through your difficulty.

It’s okay to be open to new things. That is how we grow.

I believe we are better together,

xo~ Mwah!

D

Be You and Thrive